Just another WordPress.com site
A day is a day is a day right? So most would say what can happen in only a day. What would you say if I told you that only a day would make up for the whole previous year? In fact, it didn’t even take an entire day but only three and half hours to make me realize that this whole past year and a half, as hard as it has been, has all been worth it. Because in this day the first day of a brand new year which by the way is without exception or any shred of exaggeration the best new years day I have ever experienced the person, the very reason I was able to walk tall into and survive my most recent trials, walked back into my life and it was as if that person was never gone for more than a few moments. You see, as much as we all like to think there are many permanent people in our lives, reality dictates that there are only a few and will only ever be a few who can stand the test of time and space and challenges of life, growth and change and still be there when the universe calls out to them. It’s not as easy as it sounds to be there when someone needs you even if you are in the same space much-less thousands of miles away.
The knowledge in one’s heart that you are with them is the truest form of being there for another. For a friend. Knowing that in the hardest of times that person as far away as they may seem to be in right there in your heart and should and you in theirs. Believe me, it doesn’t happen every day. Unfortunately some, many people never ever get to experience this. I did. I have. I still do. That was again confirmed the first day of this new year. Yesterday in fact. Only the day before the first day as I showered the filth of the previous hellish year off of my body and soul I looked up to the sky, well, really my cracked plaster shower ceiling, raised my fist high and shouted out to one of the few entities other than my own deep-seated well of pain that I truly have faith, trust or belief in to “just give me a sign that it’s all going to be okay dammit”, “show me I’m on the right path, tell me I’m doing what I need to be doing”. I didn’t expect an answer, I never do, even though I always get one though they are never as dramatic as I wish they would be so I am never too sure if they are answers to my cry for a sign of just one of my recurring slight bouts of insanity. This time was different, He definitely gave me a what I asked for and more. He has been doing that lately, well for a while now, well more like for my entire life. Maybe I just pay better attention now or maybe I just follow the lead that He gives. Let me a little clearer here, I am a spiritual kind of guy, in fact, I abhor organized religion of any kind and most of which it dictates, indicates, preaches to another or stands for but I know He exists. you see I have no issue with Him or his Son only with the labels so many have attached to them of the millennia in hopes of cornering the market and dollars on His Name. The wide expanse of everything beautiful, everything known and unknown and the constant non-coincidental meetings, liaisons and what’s right in front of my eyes is enough to keep me believing and coming back for more. Even in those days of my darkest hour I never believed anyone especially He had abandoned me, it was I who in fact had chosen to abandon Him. But I never doubted Him. That said, yeah I hate religion. So spirituality, that’s my gig.
So there she was again. He put us back together when we most needed. We made it through the first few days of this new year and we did it with laughter, tears, sadness and joy. We knew it would be the beginning of a great new year. We shut the door behind us on those things that sought to damage us and we did it like we used to do. Together. Alone is too dark of a place to be. I used to live by the darkness, I embraced it, not so much anymore. You can’t do it alone out here this much I have learned this much I know now.
I’ ll keep you posted as we grow this year.